Heads or Tail?

Decision making process made simple?

This continues to be the month of love. Let us direct some of the love inwards - love for your own time, your own space, your own body, and your work. And the magic of life will unfold. One great gift we can give ourselves is to build our own “intuition muscle” - and be present to choices we make. This week I will talk about my own experience on tools we could use to build this muscle.

As a start - Have you struggled in your life to make a decision? Sometimes a life altering decision like changing a city, changing a job, choosing to say yes to your life partner. At that moment did you wish you had someone who could gaze into the crystal ball and tell you if this would be the right choice?

We all want to be more aware, more present while we make decisions. I have seen young adults come to me for ‘advice’ on what would be the best decision on a job - should I work on my own idea now, or work with a startup, or a corporate? Interestingly, one of the interns I worked with, sent me a message on how the conversation we had around his decision to work for a big firm versus a startup proved the right one in hindsight. (he chose the bigger firm) He wanted to continue to use my advice on the path going forward.

Looking back. I don’t remember having a strong opinion in the choice he made. It was more a discussion, where we talked about probable outcomes, and he finally made the decision. Call it more supportive conversation, not directive. However once he had made the choice, he could connect the dots backwards.

Life teaches us that choice creates awareness, and never the other way around. You have to make the choice for you to know if that is the right choice. One can only connect the dots backwards.

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A good way to sharpen our ability to make choices is to build our own intuitive muscle. Some people think we are born to be intuitive. Hearteningly, I believe this can be a skill that can be learnt. Over time this skill will help you be more present, and tap into your own inner understanding of yourself.

In my experience creating “one” consistent routine in your everyday life will start to create awareness. One routine that is followed, no matter what challenge comes up. It starts to build a process of self reliance on your ability to fight the mind game.

I am not a fan of instant gratification. While I am also human and enjoy it, over time, activities with instant gratification leaves you wanting deeper understanding and connection to life around. Challenges like the ice-bucket challenge, doing something that makes you uncomfortable for an instant and winning over, actually are tools built to massage the human ego. A sustained effort at committing to a task is less sexy, but more powerful.

Imagine the effort it takes to just committing to walking 1 mile everyday, like Mark Zuckerberg did) for a year. It was not the distance but just the commitment of doing that 1 task everyday, no matter what. Winter, summer, rain, snow - you need to get out. Walk the 1 mile. Building consistency helps build mental strength, which in turn improves your inner intuition on what is right for you.

Try this for a month. And tell me if this works for you. I have one routine I have built for the last 60 days. The first activity I do when I wake up is to draw a tarot card that gives me guidance for my day, and meditate for 15 mins. Sometimes more. But 15 mins is the baseline. No matter what. I don’t claim freedom from mind games but I am present to the game. I choose to play along or ignore it. A choice I make, without it being made for me. And that is very empowering.

As you build your intuition, try a simple task next time you want to make a decision - Heads or Tail? While the coin is up in the air, if you are present and watch the coin toss up, you know whether you want heads or tail! And in that moment, you intuitively know your decision.

Love to all. Written with this beautiful view of dazzling lights. Yet quiet and serene as I watch it from a distance.